Limes are in trouble. There is a growingly severe shortage of limes in the world and you’ve probably felt the effects whether you knew it or not. In terms of fruit, I value a lime about as much as a cumquat because I don’t drink anything that requires one. But I do love pie and one of my favorites is Key Lime Pie (which I know should only be made with “Key” limes, but it usually isn’t, so hush). If you start messing with my pie, then we have a problem.
Mexico is the world’s leading exporter of limes. Heavy rains wiped out 90% of this year’s lime crop. No more pie for you. This is too bad because not only does it affect lots of food costs, it puts restaurant and bar owners in a bad situation. Limes are usually offered as a garnish, the price of which is already built into the cocktail or food item, but the price of limes has more than quadrupled this year. A case of limes that cost $15 last year now is now $100. Damn. Now I feel bad about wasting all those limes I usually throw at jerks that buy me tequila shots at the bar.
Drug cartels are also affecting my 2014 pie intake. Believe it or not, certain drug cartels are subsidizing their lost income due to heavier crackdowns on their operations by stealing parts of the lime import business. I jest, but this is more serious than some fat guy’s dumb joke. The “Knight’s Templar” cartel has caused the price of limes to skyrocket by extorting farmers and exporters through savage tactics such as threats of violence and other atrocities. The Mexican government has told these scumbags to stand down by May 10th or, I assume, action will be taken. Seems to me though, providing them with a deadline is way too accommodating.
Today is May 5th and like most foreign holidays adopted by America, Cinco de Mayo has been stripped of all of its cultural traditions except for the drinking. I’m not a margarita guy (unless it’s pizza) or a tequila guy (frowny face) or one who celebrates Cinco de Mayo because I really don’t need one more excuse to drink. So the lime shortage doesn’t really affect me. But as usually is the case of the things I pooh-pooh on “Covered in Beer,” I’m in the minority. Hopefully you don’t slosh your Bud Light Lime-a-Rita onto your keyboard as you react in disgust to this post, my lovely, pickled readers. Here’s one of the many babies on YouTube eating a lime to lighten the mood:
I have noticed, when generously buying drinks for other people, that you must request a lime these days, they don’t just give you one. I’m curious if you too have noticed any effects of the lime crisis? I’ve heard that some airlines have gotten rid of limes, but they’d nix oxygen if the price of that ever went up.