Humor

Don’t Hate Carrots

Hop T. Hare loves baloney, but all he was allowed to eat was carrots. Hop was so sick of carrots. Once, he ate so many carrots, he turned orange. 

One day, Hop was playing in a yard and he saw an open window. Normally, Rabbits don’t sneak into Human houses, but Hop had refused to eat his breakfast carrots this morning and he was starving. Hop, against all his Rabbit judgement, jumped through the window and went to the kitchen. 

Opening the fridge was a tall task for such a short Rabbit. He was able to wedge his big hopper ever so slightly in between the magnetic strip and the fridge door. Then, using all his strength, Hop managed to pry the door open. 

Like a new day dawning, the fridge light popped on and Hop hoped he had hit the motherlode. Luckily, the vegetable drawer was too high for Hop to reach. Looking up, he saw the carrots peering down at him like a Supreme Court Justice in the High Court of Rabbits. 

The meat drawer was right down at the bottom of the fridge. Hop looked into the drawer. He could see in just below the Frigid lettering. The first thing he could see was the roast beef. Hop was prejudice against all meats that glistened. Next, he could see the Turkey. Although not the same, Turkey hit too close to home for Hop to eat. Under the Turkey was cheese. Yellow cheese does not agree with Hop. Stops him up something fierce until it becomes too much and pellets shoot out like a Tommy Gun. No cheese for Hop. 

Could this be a baloney-less house? Hop was in a panic. He made it this far; risked life and hopper to get to this moment and…wait…is that an “O”? Yes! A big orange “O.” Followed by an “S.” Oh! A glorious “S.” Then a “C.” “OSC” could only mean one thing: Baloney! What a relief! Hop threw up his hoppers high in the air and shouted, “Hallelujah!” 

After Hop yelled, he heard a loud “ding” and then a huge crash. Hop’s excited “Hallelujah!” knocked the butter dish forward, causing its top to tumble off. It smashed into the vegetable drawer, jarring it open. A two-pound bag of carrots flopped out of the drawer and made a beeline for Hop’s head. The impact killed him instantly.

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